Tuesday, March 28, 2017

10 Months of Married Life: The Good, The Bad & The In-laws

I have had SO many people request a post about how my life has changed since I got married. So here you go :)

Stephen and I got married on May 28, 2016. We are approaching one year so soon! (Where the hell has the time gone??)

We will be doing the traditional anniversary gifts by year. Here are all the gifts year by year. So, for year one I am starting to think of ideas for paper. I will be doing a separate post on what I get him and alternatives. (I can't post until we celebrate or that would just ruin the surprise for him!)

Stephen and I have been together for a very long time. He started crushing on me junior year of high school while he was dating someone else, hahahaha. We did long distance all throughout college, he went to Duke & I went to UT. GBO. VFL. We had a 10 hour drive round trip just to satisfy our needs, such as hugs & kisses & dinner dates. After college we were both in Knoxville and he FINALLY proposed. And by finally I mean he was about to die if he didn't. We moved in together a few weeks after being engaged. Then, a year and a half later I bought a sweet dog bed and told him to fill it. The next week he bought me Mellie. Then wedding bells....

My bridal luncheon was perfect. Our wedding was perfect. Our honeymoon was perfect. Especially when the 9 month mark hit and I wasn't giving birth.

We bought our first house in September 2016. We have had some renovations completed and a fired contractor that left us with a to-do list.

Things I have learned about S since getting married:
1. He is still the same guy I fell in love with
2. His feet still smell like ass
3. I hate going to bed alone when he is gone on work trips
4. He can't grill (but we are working on this)
5. He helps so much with the dishes because he can't help with cooking
6. He tells me daily how nice the house looks and how great I did decorating it
7. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else

I think the biggest issue is when you marry someone you aren't 100% about, you will learn new things and have challenges you weren't aware of. There isn't anything Stephen has done or said since we have been married that I have been surprised or taken back about. It's because I knew from the first time he said he loved me that we were going to be together forever. I was always confident in that and I always will be.

IMO, I think how long you have been with someone doesn't matter as long as you truly know them and you can both be yourselves around each other. Then the only surprises are good ones.

We aren't a regular couple, we are a cool couple. lol, I had to. We go out, we have friends over, but we also have to do adult shit sometimes. Like, I painted our front porch pink while Stephen was at work & didn't tell him, and he pulled weeds from the yard which happened to be my peonies. Luckily, he had never done any yard work so he did a poor job pulling weeds and I still have my peonies. (Well, not luckily someone should have taught the man to do some yard work!) But, I like to think we have fun.... last week I made breakfast for dinner and we had screwdrivers, that's fun on a Tuesday, right?


I am going to preface this with we are so lucky to have my immediate & extended family in our lives. They have always been supportive, loving and going above & beyond for us. We are so close with my parents, my brother & his better half, Jenn Jenn. :) I don't want this post in any way to upset or direct any negative attention to my family because they have done all the things right.

The biggest struggle we have had is his family. Which is what most issues are for newly weds, the in-laws.

We have struggled with them for a long time & it got way worse when it impacted our wedding process, mainly the rehearsal dinner. Which I have told the in-laws it's something I'm not sure if I will ever get over. To summarize, I was told it was their event. They wouldn't even let us choose the guest list, the theme, and we didn't even have a say on the menu or really anything in regards to it. I had always dreamed over having a white party, basically like gossip girl & my maiden name is White so it would be a great theme. They told us a few months before if we wanted to pick the guest list & the theme then we needed to do the rehearsal dinner on our own. Obviously we had so many things with the wedding to get ready so it wasn't feasible. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be an event for the families to get to spend time together, we only wanted bridal party (which was 18 people & their plus ones) & family. His family insisted on inviting all of their out of town guests. They sat with their out of town guests instead of attempting to spend time with my family.

It has been hard in years prior figuring out holidays with his family. In the past they haven't budged on timing or making it easy for Stephen & I to attend both families holidays. We had the issues while seriously dating and engaged that caused some huge fights but now that we are married we don't give a fu... well you know, because we are married and our own little family now. So after all the drama & stubbornness, I wanted to try again to fix this, I took it upon myself to host Thanksgiving to make it easier. So my mom, brother & I cooked and it went, well I won't be hosting again. (My dad always deep-fries the turkeys, Stephen can't cook & Jenn was sick this year so she was drinking Jack Daniel's Honey from a coffee mug per usual.)

Stephen never really had a relationship with his sister. I am VERY family oriented so since we have been together I have tried to built and mend relationships but his family has never been accepting. I have tried with his sister since the beginning. Honestly, I am so over trying. I asked her to be in our wedding and that didn't even help. She didn't pay her part on the bachelorette party via Venmo (Stephen did & his parent's reimbursed) - she uses Venmo with her parents accounts to pay her friends when need-be.. so why couldn't she pay her part instead of Stephen picking up her slack. At my bachelorette party she was the only one who didn't buy me a drink. All the other girls work and were spending their own money and they all bought my food, drinks, etc. (Thank you again to those lovely bridesmaids & MOH for coordinating & being so generous to celebrate.) She didn't come to my lingerie shower that the bridesmaids were hosting (which she was a bridesmaid..) but instead went out to the bars with her friends. On another note, his sister wore white to our engagement party, a bridal shower & a floor length ivory dress to our rehearsal & rehearsal dinner, which is just f*cking rude and everyone knows that is a big no-no.

I wish I could say these are the only issues we have had with his family, but that would be a lie.

It's always hard when there's change, but I think that his parents and parents in general need to realize that they aren't losing their son, they are gaining a daughter. When you act like you are losing a son, you may end up doing that.

The best advice I can have for anyone in a relationship, engaged or newly weds is follow your heart. Marry your best friend because you can't live a day without them. Don't worry about the family drama because you will make your relationship what you want it to be.

I love being married, I love my husband, I love Mellie & I love my house. I can't wait to see what our future together will bring.


Photography by 2 Hodges Photography
Make up by Jessica Hyde